Book Aloha from Hell Actual rating stars Such a ridiculously low rating Shame on me and stuff So Embarrassing Confession Time ECT there was a point when I reading my boyfriend s latest
Book Aloha from Hell Actual rating: 4.45 stars. Such a ridiculously low rating. Shame on me and stuff.So. Embarrassing Confession Time (ECT™): there was a point when I reading my boyfriend's latest adventures this book when I actually considered going for a 3.5-star rating. I know, dear boyfriend #4572 Cary, I know. I should probably go hide in an undersea cave or something. To atone for this most ignominious behavior and stuff. Yeah, I have to admit this wasn't one of my mostest gloriousest moments. In my defense, I must say that this instalment feels a little like, you know, a, well, how could I put it nicely, um, errr, what's that obscure word that starts with an f and ends with an r? Can't seem to remember now. Early signs of Alzheimer's and all that crap. Sorry, what? *clueless barnacle whispers inaudibly in my lovely little ear* Bloody shrimping filler is the word I was looking for? Are you sure? Seems a bit melodramatically excessive to me, but there's a slight chance you might not be entirely wrong. Maybe. I mean, there's a slim possibility that the first 80% 70% of this book could be not exactly fascinating. Or supercalifragilisticexpialidociously titillating. And perhaps a little not super exciting, too. But that is all highly hypothetical, obviously. And would have to be confirmed by extensive and intensive research at the hands of an intergalactic, multi-species, much-limbed team of challenged scientists.Had this instalment actually been of the filler type (which has yet to be proven, remember?), its last 20% 30% would have more than made up for the supposed lack of stimulating substance. Because the whole Convergence business was slightly awesome (view spoiler)[you don't know what the Convergence is? So? Is it my fault you haven't read this book? (hide spoiler)] and the Tartarus thing was bloody shrimping fantastic (view spoiler)[you don't know what Tartarus is? So? Is it my fault you haven't read this book? (hide spoiler)]. Then there's the action and violence and bloodshed and stuff. And the twists and revelations and surprises, oh my! I'm not talking about good surprises here, obviously. Good surprises are for wimps. This deliciously noir world is pretty much all bad stuff all the time. A delightful, never-ending loop of things getting downhill from there. And don't think you can get away from bad stuff just because you've just been killed dead. You can always get excruciatingly deader, you know. See? Even good old Bikram agrees. So put a gleeful smile on your face and go pet the fluffy Hellhounds. You're going to have lots of fun getting chopped into tiny little pieces!So yeah, this Not Filler of an Instalment (NFoaI™) does turn out to be kinda sorta shrimptastic after all. And, to be disgustingly honest, it's not only because of the fiercely scrumptious last 20% 30%, either. I mean, this world. THIS world. My black, withered heart lurves it so much. It keeps getting darker and twistier and complexer (yes, that is a word) and therefore, more delectably delectable. Also, there is the slightly wondrous plot. Which keeps thickening beautifully and stuff. And Kadrey's gloriously sensational bam-take-that-in-your-lovely-face writing. And the crazy-good-hilarious dialogues. And the ever-growing cast of magnificently splendidwicked weirdoes characters is magnificently splendid: my girlfriend Candy, Allegra, Vidocq and Kasabian (aka the mostest awesomest corpseless head ever) are as fabuloustastic as ever. By the way, I may want to adopt Muninn in the near future. Especially now that I know he is Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler in his spare time (view spoiler)[Okay, so his brother Neshamah is sort of a devious bastard, but since he happens to think my boyfriend is a pain in the ass, he can't be entirely bad (hide spoiler)]. Also kidnapping adoption-worthy: Mustang Sally (view spoiler)[I dare you not to start singing. Oops, too late! (hide spoiler)] and Medea Bava. Because slightly duplicitous supernatural chicks are the new black. And let's not forget Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler (aka the ottoman repairman)! Such a cool, good-natured guy! You really couldn't ask for a better travelling companion!What? Don't believe me? Think the bullshit is strong in this one? I wonder why. The ottoman repairman really is an enchanting chap. I mean, he had lots of fangirls in London, back in the good old days.And then there's my boyfriend. He's so kind and loving and compassionate and noble and stuff."John Wayne wouldn’t shoot a man in the back, but that’s my favorite target."Sigh. How can you not fall head over pincers for a guy who says that kind of thing? He really is a charmer, my man. He's never disrespectful, either. Or unpleasant. He doesn't know what the word snarky means. Recklessness is a concept completely foreign to him. And he abhors violence. The guy is perfect husband material, if you ask me. Okay, maybe not so at the beginning of this book. I mean, my Stark is feeling a bit down here. Probably because he hasn't slaughtered things for a few weeks. Which, you have to admit, is pretty dispiriting. I'm pretty sure anyone in the same situation would fall into a deep depression. Who/what is to blame for this most revolting turn of events, you ask? Why the haloed bastard of course! My boyfriend has a problem, you see. He has to share his glorious little head with one of the supercharged assholes (aka the asshole angels). No wonder he wants to punch his own brain all the time. I would, too, if a divine squatter was trying to have me play freaking hero 24/7. When all I wanted to do was go all homicidal maniac on everyone and everything. Because harboring murderous feelings towards humanity is the key to eternal youth and beauty, my dear Battie.But worry not, for my boyfriend won't let his current predicament deter him! No he won't! He is bloody shrimping Sandman Slim, for shrimp's sake! He is better stronger than this! He is not about to let a haloed bastard bring out the best in him! So he reunites with his ferociously kick-ass self, does the Convergence/Tartarus Thing (CTT™) (view spoiler)[still don't know what this is all about, do you? Hahaha. It's so sad (hide spoiler)] and gets—very logically—his lethal groove back. Behold Sandman Slim 2.0! Spoiler spoiler spoiler! And spoiler spoiler spoiler! Oh wow, my boyfriend is the new Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler! Which makes me Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler's girlfriend! Talk about an evil upgrade! My life is now complete! I can now get slaughtered in peace die happy and stuff! (view spoiler)[Yeah, that's pretty much me right now. Because even nefariously vindictive beings can feel ferociously blissful sometimes. (hide spoiler)]» And the moral of this Well Well Well Looks Like this Kinda Sorta Filler is More Refreshingly Filling than Ninety Eight Percent of the Crap I Usually Read Extra Super Crappy Non Review (WWWLLtKSFiMRFtNEPofCIURESCNR™) is: you know you've found one of your soulmates when his acting like a boring ass a little disappointingly 80% 70% of the time doesn't dampen your all-encompassing animal lust devotion for his deliciously ruthless, antihero-ish little self. QED and stuff.✎ Book 1: Sandman Slim ★★★★★✎ Book 2: Kill the Dead ★★★★★✎ Book 3.5: Devil in the Dollhouse ★★★★★✎ Book 4: Devil Said Bang ★★★★✎ Book 5: Kill City Blues ★★★★✎ Book 6: The Getaway God ★★★★★✎ Book 7: Killing Pretty ★★★★Sigh. Looks like my new boyfriend kinda sorta suffered from a sudden attack of Acute Filler Book Syndrome (AFBS™) here. Yes, it is indeed sad and slightly heartbreaking and stuff, BUT! BUT BUT BUT! See my Not That Crappy Rating Up There (NTCRUT™)? It should tell you something! Yes it should! What should it tell you, you ask? Why to get ready to dance, obviously. ➽ Full My Boyfriend Might Be a Little Under the Hellish Weather but He Still is His Deliciously Delicious Self Ergo I am Still Somewhat in LURVE with Him Crappy Non Review (MBMBaLUtHWbHSiHDDSEIaSSiLwHCNR™) to come.["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>. Aloha from Hell is Books All hail Sandman Slim, author Richard Kadrey s ultra extreme anti hero and recent escapee from Lucifer s overheated Underworld playground In number three, Aloha from Hell, the ruthless avenger, a.k.a Stark, finds himself trapped in the middle of a war between Heaven and Hell With God on vacation, the Devil nosing around in Paradise, and an insane serial killer doing serAll hail Sandman Slim, author Richard Kadrey s ultra extreme anti hero and recent escapee from Lucifer s overheated Underworld playground In number three, Aloha from Hell, the ruthless avenger, a.k.a Stark, finds himself trapped in the middle of a war between Heaven and Hell With God on vacation, the Devil nosing around in Paradise, and an insane serial killer doing serious damage on Earth, Stark Slim is ready to unleash some adrenaline surging, edgy and violent supernatural mayhem and even pay another visit to Hell if necessary which is great news for fans of Jim Butcher, Warren Ellis, Charlaine Harris, Kim Harrison, and Simon R Green.. Richard Kadrey is a writer and freelance photographer living in San Francisco, best known for his Sandman Slim novels His newest novels are The Everything Box, released April 19, 2016 and The Perdition Score Sandman Slim, 8 , released on June 28, 2016.. A viral Kindle Aloha from Hell Bung, bung, bung, bung, bungBung, bung, bung, bung, bungBung, bung, bung, bung, bungBung, bung, bung, bung, bungBung, bung, bung, bung, bungMr. Sandman, bring me a dream(Bung, bung, bung, bung)Make him the cutest that I've ever seen(Bung, bung, bung, bung)Give him two lips like roses and clover(Bung, bung, bung, bung)Then tell him that his lonesome nights are overSandman, I'm so aloneDon't have nobody to call my ownPlease turn on your magic beamMr. Sandman, bring me a dreamBung, bung, bung, bungWhirrr whap whap tic tic tic screeeeech!STOP THE RECORD!!!Sandman Slim…….. ain’t that kind of Sandman. He has just recently returned from HELL, after kicking Lucifer’s ass around, so much in fact that Lucifer changed his name to Samuel and now resides in Heaven. That was an ass kicking long overdue. Sandman has returned to Earth to take up running his video store. Although Kasabian the Headless insists that Sandman may own the store, Kasabian runs it. Did you catch that headless part? Yeah, well Sandman and Kasabian had a disagreement...well... a little more than a disagreement. Kasabian shot Sandman, and Sandman cut his head off. There was some Hoodoo involved, and now the living head makes his way around on a skateboard with little feet. This might be a good time to mention that you really need to read the books in order. Anything that sounds hinky or too out of this world will make perfect sense after a couple of margaritas and maybe one of those “funny” cigarettes I’ve been hearing about. Anyway, Sandman is starting to get the yawns. ”It’s so quiet and peaceful out here I’m getting bored with breathing. Maybe we’ll get lucky and the world will go to Hell again. Fingers crossed.”He missed chopping up demons like Margaret Thatcher missed bending House of Lord’s ministers over her desk for a good spanking. Sandman and I share a love of pop culture references. ”The Beat Hotel…. I’t like a cross between a seventies swingers no-tell motel and the kind of hipster hot spot where rock stars stay when they don’t want to be seen bringing home good smack or bad strippers. The rooms are comfortable in a Zen halfway-house kind of way. But the kitchens are decorated in bright primary-colored vinyl like a Playboy-chic burger joint. The place looks like where David Lynch would meet Beaver Cleaver’s mom for secret afternoons of bondage and milk shakes. I love it.”This description reminds me of the motels that the Winchester Boys from Supernatural always seem to find themselves holed up in. Sandman and I also share a dislike of self-indulgent automobiles. ”I hate those luxury golf cars. Gaudy status symbols with as much personality as an Elmer’s-Glue-on-white-bread sandwich.” Now he is speaking about a Lexus, but the one that I loath is the love affair that shallow, corporate zombies have with their BMWs. Could that brand of car be any more humdrum to look at? They are the beige of the car world in my opinion. They might as well have just bought the most plain jane Ford they can find and pay half. I had an ex-friend who had her BMW hit in a parking garage, and she kept going on and on about how upset she was, and I kept thinking maybe that car has some character now. Sandman gets shot; no worries, he is some kind of half Nephilim, a race that doesn’t exist anymore except in the DNA replicating in his own internal world. It is tough on nice jackets though. ”I pick up the coat. Finger the bullet hole. It’s not bad enough to throw the coat away. Besides, I heard that blood is the new black.”He finds out that the soul of his recently deceased girlfriend has been captured from Heaven and spirited away to HELL. He’d be upset about all this except for the fact that he is almost out of Maledictions (hell’s best brand of cigarettes), and he has been getting itchy feet over L.A. being way too tame. Hell hasn’t been the same HELL ever since Lucifer left. It was time for Sandman to go down, save the girl, and make a few attitude adjustments. ”Go to hell see if you like itThen come home with meTomorrow night may be too lateThe world’s a mess it’s in my kiss”--The XNothing but irreverent, laugh out loud fun. Lucky for me Richard Kadrey has already written several more. This is the perfect book series to read when I need to take a long stroll away from the regular world. Sandman Slim ain’t no angel, and for a little while I don’t have to be either. If you wish to see more of my most recent book and movie reviews, visit http://www.jeffreykeeten.comI also have a Facebook blogger page at: https://www.facebook.com/JeffreyKeeten
Aloha from Hell A Sandman Slim Novel Kadrey, Richard Jul , Aloha From Hell is the third Sandman Slim Novel and once again Kadrey doesn t disappoint his fans The book picks up after Stark embraces his nephalim heritage and discovers that Archangel Uriel is his father. Aloha from Hell Aloha from Hell Sandman Slim Series by Richard Kadrey Jul , Legendary author William Gibson Neuromancer called Kadrey s first deliciously twisted Slim adventure an addictively satisfying, deeply amusing, dirty ass masterpiece, and in number three, Aloha from Hell, the ruthless avenger, a.k.a Stark, finds himself trapped in the middle of a war between Heaven and Hell. Aloha from Hell Sandman Slim, by Richard Kadrey Jan , In number three, Aloha from Hell, the ruthless avenger, a.k.a Stark, finds himself trapped in the middle of a war between Heaven and Hell With God on vacation, the Devil nosing around in Paradise, and an insane serial killer doing ser Aloha from Hell music, videos, stats, and photos Last rowsJul , Aloha From Hell was a pop punk band formed in , in Aloha from Hell Sandman Slim Richard Kadrey read Aloha from Hell Sandman Slim Supernatural fantasy s greatest anti hero goes back to hell In Sandman Slim Stark came back from hell for revenge In Kill the Dead he tackled both a zombie plague and being Lucifer s bodyguard.